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Moderation is for cowards. Thom Shea is a retired Navy SEAL and the best selling author of "Unbreakable: A Navy SEAL's Way of Life" and combat veteran. Thom shares interviews with extra-ordinary men and women who have pushed through their self-imposed limits. The Interviews and dialogues explore what it is like to have a goal driven, measurable life.
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And dare the challenge of the 13 Unbreakable Lessons

Jan 14, 2019

For those participating in the Unbreakable Training and currently doing the 21 day challenge, I personally congratulate you for being committed to your life starting with your health. It actually takes a high level of bravery to commit to a goal. It takes boldness to actually do three things a day that matter to you. It takes someone Unbreakable to actually do three things a day for 21 straight days.

This podcast Why People Fail in the Middle is the second in a series to discuss in an open forum the secrets behind success. I have taught over 1000 clients about the fundamentals of success and find this lesson the most critical one.

And if you are watching or listening you can track and watch people go through lesson one either on Unbreakable Lessons or on facebook at Unbreakablelessons or at unbreakable community.

The first episode was a broad discussion of the lesson and the pitfalls and to do the lesson you must first have a goal you actually are wanting to attain in the next 60 days and to select 3 simple things you will do every day to ensure you succeed and to do those three things every day for 21 days. And the episode was to discuss for first 7 days.

Today’s episode is about the middle: The middle days when 70% of the people quit. Yes that many people fail in the middle. Most people in any endeavor fail on the quest for success in the middle. Whether it be a work on a project, or in training for a race, or in a relationship, or while learning anything, or in their spiritual life the middle is the hell they cannot get through.

I have found 2% quit in the first 7 days or in the beginning of a project. The excitement is real, it is fun, things are moving and changing, and there is progress.

And, what is really happening here is that there are no excuses or reasons to not do the simple things.

Let me tell you a secret, the simple things make you successful. Not the bold wow, last ditch efforts that weren’t a part of the plan. The medal of honor heroic action isn’t the key to success. The heroic action is when everything falls apart. Albeit you may need to do that and few can muster that type of action, but remember heroism is because the simple things weren’t done and now you die or live.

So here is the deal the utter beauty of the 21 day challenge for you. You literally always have to use this way of beginning something new or when you are developing a new skill. It takes 21 days to integrate the new way into your life, into your timeline, into your capacity to use the thing you are starting. There are no hacks, no short cuts to success. And this 3 week integration challenge is one of many rules of success, and only 20% of the people use it and can even make it through 21 days.

So last episode I talked about the first 7 days. And everyone really can do it for a week. But what the Hell happens on days 8 through 18? What happens in the middle? Today’s episode is about the middle.

To begin let me tell you what doesn’t change, even if you quit. What doesn’t change was your goal, and the three simple things you decided you need to do to make the goal happen.   That didn’t change. So what happens to 70% of the people.

What changed. Let me make a list and as I go through the list you will begin to agree on the things that change to stop you or anyone from getting it done.

  1. The way you feel your excitement about the goal or the things you said were important.
  2. Support from others
  3. Your body hurts more now or you are tired
  4. The weather changed
  5. You may have gotten sick or some stupid thing like that
  6. Work changed
  7. You get bored
  8. You don’t want to anymore
  9. People laugh at you
  10. Or your performance in the actual thing you are doing gets worse

I will stop the list there. Because the reality is that we humans if left by ourselves can come up with about 1 million reasons to fucking quit on ourselves. We can even right books and make millions on proving to the world the reasons are more important than the outcome.

REASONs and excuses. Reasons are lethal to our objectives. No reasonable man or woman would do whatever it takes. The reasonable person reasons himself right out of succeeding 80% of the time. Excuses literally excuse you. I am tired. Got it you are now excused from the table. I forgot (which by chance is the number one excuse known to man) to call or to do whatever, got it you are excused.

Meanwhile the three simple tasks aren’t getting done. All you had to do was do the three things, but people are often an excuse. I don’t feel like it, so you don’t do it.

My wife doesn’t support me doing it, so you are excuses. Your knee is swollen or feet hurt, so you reason that if you do it more you will do more damage or maybe you will die, so you are excused. It is raining, Ok you are out. You have a fever, no reasonable person would do this sick so you quit.

But here is what happens in the middle, it gets boring. Getting up and riding a stationary bike each morning at 5 am is down right boring. Why? Because you are boring. You not the bike. You have to beat boredom away inside of you. But you are blaming the bike for your own grey nature. So we excuse ourselves from learning to create excitement when real excitement only comes from within.

In the middle other than boredom the next battle is tired/pain/and exhaustion. I call these the three amigos. The three amigos don’t want you to win. But they are so real. It hurts to run 5 miles every day. It is mentally exhausting to run the 15th tranche of five miles. The end isn’t even in sight. And you are tired of it. In the middle the battle is real so people quit to avoid the battle.

In the middle greatness happens if you just do the three simple things no matter what. In the middle champions are created. Because they kept doing the three simple things. In the middle you have to kill of your reasons and never excuse yourself ever.

Stop looking for a way out. Look for a way in through the bullshit that are your reasons. The true battle in your life is to win this exchange.

So my respect is to the people who joined our team to win this battle. It is amazing to witness the changes in you. I know it may not feel good, or may seem no one knows. We know because we are doing out 21 day challenge with you. And we too are in our battle. But I know how to get through.

Kill your excuses. We will get you through.

Write down every reason that comes up and carry those reasons around and read them when you want to quit. I quit on making a million dollars because my friends said I was stupid. I quit because my foot hurt. If it didn’t hurt I would be an Olympic athlete.

Imagine reading those excuses to your kids!